As students filed into the chapel Monday morning to hear esteemed Baylor faculty member Tawambe Settles deliver the opening remarks of Baylor’s MLK day festivities, the front rows of the Alumni Chapel appeared eerily vacant. Missing from the assembly was, curiously enough, dozens of seniors, all stricken suddenly with a rare one-day virus.
The virus, interestingly, seems to affect only seniors entering their second semester. Even more specifically, only students who typically sit on the left side of the chapel were afflicted with this temporary disease: a true scientific anomaly. Professionals in the field have dubbed this disease, “Senioritis.” Doctors say that this endemic disease could reappear multiple times as seniors near graduation.
Baylor senior and basketball standout Baird Thoni claimed, “I get senioritis 2-3 times a week. It's no big deal. I think my teachers are forgetting I'm in their class.” However, in a true feat of strength, most all among the ill had returned to school by the following Tuesday. How brave they are. When asked for comment, the Baylor Health Center’s official statement was an audible sigh followed by a resounding, “Idk bro these seniors are goons.” Pray that our seniors manage to stay healthy as they enter the home stretch.