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SATIRE: 2019 April Fool's Prank One for the Books
Alex Robinson

As the end of March lingered, the inevitable wave of “April Fool’s day pranks” were well-anticipated by administration officials. However, one dean would refer to this year’s big prank as “the most shocking collective defiance of social norms in the name of prankery that I have ever seen.”

As hundreds of students slept soundly in their beds, Coach Clark arrived promptly to Baylor at precisely 5 a.m. to prepare for the undoubtedly chaotic day that would follow. As students began siphoning into the Cathedral of Knowledge that is Baylor School, in what was the first day back from spring break, Coach Clark embarked on his morning duties, checking for parking, dress code, and other violations. However, in his patrol, Coach would be entirely stupefied, befuddled, and dumbfounded. As he checked each parking sticker, haircut, and neck beard, Coach Clark noticed that not a one was out of place. There was no hair hanging teasingly over the collar of an unsuspecting freshman, nor a whisker on the chin of a lackadaisical senior, not even a defiant junior parked prominently in a spot which he knows is designated for his science teacher.

Not only was this the most coordinated and well-executed prank in recent memory, but also the most pleasantly surprising. Coach Clark responded by kicking back and raking the little rock zen garden he has on his desk in what would be an entirely crime-less—and serene—day.

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